Looking back, I can see that I was shaped not only by my parents’ love, but also by their struggles. Research helps explain why this matters. In other words, what we experience at home often continues to shape how we love as adults. The family often becomes the blueprint for relationships today.

That is why men’s mental health matters so much here. If a man is emotionally shut down, burdened, ashamed, or disconnected from himself, it becomes harder for him to be emotionally available to his children. We cannot talk seriously about children’s wellbeing without also talking about the inner lives of the men helping raise them.

As Vincent van Gogh wrote, “If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now. For wheat is wheat, even if people think it is a grass in the beginning.” That is part of the tragedy many men live with: they have forgotten that worth is inherent, and started believing it must be merely earned.